The gift writing has been

Many times when I couldnt share how I felt with other people or even formulate words to myself I would write.
I love being able to put my thoughts down so that I can sort them out and even rearrange them if I can see that they just arent helping me. I have often thought that sometimes if I put my thoughts on the outside  they would be more managable
There are other times on the other hand when I couldnt even think of anything to say or when I saw the words they came out totally the opposite of what I really want to convey or truly have in my heart. I think this is what happens to me the most is that I freeze when I have to confront my words and thoughts. I also feel uncomfortable with what other people  might think of me if they truly say what was on the inside. It often paralyzes me to think that my deepest feelings and honest opinions would be attacked to the core. I fear being belittled, criticized, and rejected for what I have been holding in and protecting.
The wonderful thing about writing is if you dont want to show it to anyone you dont have too and you can still take yourself where you want to go and be who you are. There are times when you wont even like what you write or think but the truth is out there. Its not just in your head ruminating and becoming bigger then life.